The EMS Gods Must Hate Me

Today, I started my vacation. I'm not on shift again until the 26th. Friday, my wife and I leave for Hawaii. But yesterday, the EMS gods, or the vacation angels, or the demons of time-off were punishing me for taking vacation. In order of appearance:

• A psychiatric making a scene in the dining room of McDonalds at 8:30 in the morning.
• A sweet, little old lady with recurrent GI bleed needing cauterization in Portland. Of course, she wanted transport to the hospital at the other end of the county.
• An 60-something female with transient chest pain with previous episodes earlier in the week. She was getting the RV ready to go to Mexico when the pain started.
• At 1:30-ish, a man having a seizure in the lounge of a local restaurant. Turns out, he almost always has a seizure after one or two drinks. Seems like he shouldn't be drinking...
• An MVA in the pouring rain. One car rear-ended a pickup when the pickup decided to make an illegal u-turn in the middle of the highway and the car couldn't swerve to avoid. The driver of the pickup, of course, was uninsured.
• After fueling and getting back into our end of the county, we were called to an elderly diabetic. He was glassy eyed, staring at the TV, had a mouthful of oral glucose (puffed cheeks and all), and with a BGL of 25. He was an easy fix with IV D50 and a no-transport.
• A 70-something female that nearly-feinted at a grade school fundraiser. She was awake and waving us away as we walked up. i had to yell to talk to her--not because she was hard of hearing, but because the bad cover band wouldn't stop playing.
  
• A dementia patient that couldn't walk upright. She looked like Micheal Jackson in Thriller when she tried to stand up and walk.
• A 50-something female with sudden onset, middle-lower abdominal pain, no radial pulses, no BP, and very delayed capillary refill. She had a diagnosis of pneumoperitoneum in the ER (along with many, many other diagnosis--she was a sick lady).
• A 40-something male with a GI bleed the vomited blood all over his bathroom and kitchen. Turns out he'd been taking 6-8 adult aspirin a day for about two weeks because of back pain.
• A hour later (at 12:30 am), we took the above GI bleed to Portland for extended care and returned by 5 am.

Upon returning from Portland, I finally slept away the last few hours of my shift, stumbling out the of senior tech room at 7:45 am by the sounds of the relief crew. I was so tired that I couldn't even do a proper shift turnover. "Narcs are out in the ambulance... somewhere. You're low on oxygen... and other... stuff. Sorry."

I am so ready for vacation.